NES'd Up.

More Here.

I Drink Your Milkshake.

Morgan Frenum Is As Black As Darth Vader

Oh nigga please. I be reading James Earl Mahfuckin' Jones be getting all the credit for his voice work, nah fuck dat. What's wrong with my voice playa? Don't I make you cum? Ain't my voice as smooth as Sikh? I could have voiced that Vader guy and all his mahfuckin' Stormtroopers too for the price of that fat bitch! George Lucas you have no Goddamn vision. Steven Spielberg knows where it's at. I narrated War Of The Worlds for that bitch AND he paid me. Nigga's gotta get paid, ya know. Listen, I don't wanna be nasty about this so just take that Star Wars shit and shove that gay made bitch up yo ass! I'm driving motherfucking Miss Daisy... Right up the chammy-wanger that is.

Fuck Yeah!

Sister Patricia, By J. Sparks.

Cyclist Willies.

God This Is So Shit

Pass the lightsaber through the cake but not into the cake because this lightsaber isn't real and is blunt as fuck and won't cut shit. Thanks from grabbing my crotch bitch. NOW you can be my wife... Whore.

Weddings Make Me Cry

More Murray.

Garfield minus Garfield.

Speaking Words Of Wisdom ... Huck-er-by.

Ni-KEEEEEEY!

GREAT SCOTT!

"Harvey" By J. Sparks

(turn your speaker volume up as high as it can go...)

More Satan's Boners.

Careful Now.

Motherfucking Epic.

Why Must I Cry?

It's been doing the rounds a fair bit, but it has genuinely had me in stitches all day.

Serious Bidness

Mr. Darling makes me do a sticky in my undies.

Heath Ledger Died During The Posting Of This. Again.

The Vice Guide To Travel.

I really want to see this documentary.

"The Vice Guide To Travel"



Synopsis ~ Popular U.S. men's magazine 'Vice' send out 12 personalities (reporters, journos, actors, filmmakers) to the most dangerous places on Earth. No, really. The MOST dangerous places on Earth. From the 'Khyber Pass' in Pakistan (infamous for being the world's illegal weapon black market) to the slums of Brazil, to the woods of Chernobyl. Check Google for more info.

Looks seriously fucking awesome.

You Got The Touch!

"The Touch"
Stan Bush - Transformers : The Movie


...I've been singing "you got the touch!" far too much recently.

The Great Trafalgar Square Freeze.

Mr. Natterjacks Back.

The Furthermore Sequels Of Mr. Eugene Levy.

76% MORE UFOs and tentacle rape than it's predecessor - GUARANTEED!

Calling Katie, Part 4.

Old Slow Hand Does It Again

Would you know my name,
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same,
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong.
And carry on.
Cause I know, my child fell out the window...
Now he's in Heaven.

Kickin’ It In The Bog Episode V: Rulers Of The Poopie-verse

Coowee! Have you got a light boy? Jackson Pollock's soul! That stench is enough to rouse the dead. Hello again, it's your old pal Wilbert of the Toilet Commission. Last week I was in Cornwall with those Arabs. Seems the British government has decided to take all these asylum seekers and shove 'em where the sun does shine. But sadly with folks like them they don't know how to keep their shit in check in both respects. Got called down to the "Vicar and Maiden" pub where these asylum seekers go for a drink of an evening. I thought them folks were all moohooslim and not allowed a good honest drink like the rest of us but maybe they've decided to disgrace their God like they have this country. We got down to the pub late Wednesday evening and were surrounded by a pack of the Arab blokes. All of 'em shouting in their heathen tongue. It were bloody scary I tell ya. It were like being back in WWII. Except unlike the Germans these buggers will cut out your heart and eat it with their curries or whatever in God's name they put in their mouth. Jesus, if what comes out of their asses is anything like what goes in their mouths, I feel sorry for them bastards.

Anyway, these Arabs were all clambering around us like rats around a corpse. It were just me and my mate Jim Connors, also from the Toilet Commission and formerly from East Western Great British Feces Association. Keeping British toilets for the British. I myself am a fully paid up member and after last week I'm glad Jim is a racist. The darkies were around us baying for blood when old Jim pulled out his BMP card and the blighters ran for the hills. The landlord, a portly gentleman with a rye smile and great hips led us to the toilets in question which were appropriately in the bowels of the building. A brown ghost waited for us there. It was a minefield! It was so horrifying I just can't go on. Save to say, poor Jim didn't make it. We layed him to rest on Sunday morning at St. Sebastions Church. God bless you Jim, you're in the great toilet bowl in the sky now. See you soon Jim. That reminds me, I need a piss.

Pickles, You Little Grass.