Nuts.

Gas Alive.

Honey, it's chilly in here...

Blah-Blah-Blaaaah! Bitch, if you're so cold you should put a Goddamn blanket on. Heating 'spensive.

William James Mercer Enjoys The Winter Olympics.

I very much enjoy watching coverage of the Winter Olympics. Especially the women's Curling finals. Any one of those girls can play with my stones anytime.

Trees An' Shit.

A Little Bit Of Soap.

Rickytic's videos are consistently amazing. Link here.

What Happens In Vegas...

Wow, we are finally here sweetness. Las Vegas. Home to.... To, uh, well you know, hookers and gambling and stuff.

Hey darling, look who's performing here at the moment... It's.... That guy, you know?

Isn't that Nicolas Antonesco?

Who the guy from BBC's German language program; Deutsch Plus?

Yeah.

No. It's not. It's a guy that looks a bit like the Emperor from Star Wars.... But after he was all lightning-ed up. Especially around the eyes.

Fair dues. Let's go see him anyways.

If That Horse Is Involved In Your Party, Then Count Me In!

Shove Tuesday.

'Pancake Day' is my second favourite food-themed day. Right after McHogmany.

Valentine's.

Hey, I forgot to mention that I delivered a Valentine's greeting to your mother yesterday.

Yeah? What was it?

I baked my cock inside a big, blue cake.

Interview.

Thank you for attending this interview, Miss Gerrard. So, what made you apply for the position of 'Sunday Human Sacrifice' ?

Well, I've always admired the almighty Sun Gods. I feel that by sacrificing myself, my fellow villagers will enjoy a prosperous harvest.

Have you had any previous experience in this field?

I've applied for dozens of other ritual human sacrifices, but sadly, I've yet to be unnecessarily butchered for a pointless purpose. So, no. I was struck by a bus two weeks ago, though. If that counts?

Instadonis.

Available in 720p. Click here to view in YouTube.

William James Mercer Visits The Apple Store.

Went into one of those Apple stores.

It was a bit like being in the RAF during the Battle of Britain, but instead of it being in the skies above Dover it was in an operating theatre designed by a Norwegian. Instead of Germans there were just large smiles and waves of hair gel, and an atmosphere verging on the brink of lunacy. I was quite stunned by it all and only snapped out of it when an American pensioner walked clean into a glass wall and knocked himself spark out.

Inside My Aching Tum.

Available in 720p. Click here to view in YouTube.

Swear At Me In A Deep Voice.

Available in 720p. Click here to view in YouTube.