Enlisting.

Sir, I'm very interested in joining your infantry. I am committed to offer my life for Queen, country and my fellow Cavalrymen. These are my references.

Let's see... 'Dry Bobbing'? ... 'Stinky finger'? ... 'Goose quill in the poop hole'? This isn't really a list of references, more a list of deviant sexual techniques you appear to be familiar with. What do you think, Sgt. Whatworth?

I think anybody with knowledge of 'Diddling with one foot on the floor and stones in the mouth' is already one third his way to becoming Lieutenant.