Hot Tub.

Thank you for allowing ourselves the time to meet with you, Principal Matthews.

No problem, what can I do for you?

Well. I want your school to fatten up my kid. Like, really fatten this little bitch up. I'd do it myself, but I can't be bothered to invest any time into such a project. Plus, y'know, if you do it for me, I can totally hold you responsible and shift the blame onto your shoulders. I aim to sell this 'heartbreaking' story to a shitty magazine for a few grand, and buy the sweet-ass hot tub I want. This is just about the most iron-clad scheme I've ever thought up - what do you think about it, are you in...?