Yeah, hi, I'm Herb Langham, short for Herbert I guess, my mother never did explain. Yeah, I've been a taxi driver in New York City for close to twenty five years and I've seen some real crazy shit I can tell ya. Boogers, jalapenas, the whole shabang. Fuhgeddaboudit! Ya know I get a lotta passengers think I look like Danny DeVito, yeah maybe, could be worse, ya know. But I ain't a bald fuck like that Danny DeVeet, I got a nice crop of hair some say reminds 'em of Nicolas Cage. His hair, not his face obviously. Can you imagine Nicolas Cage's face in my hair? That's too fucking stupid to even think about ya hear me? Okay, okay, fuhgeddaboudit! Listen, I don't think I'm as funny as Danny DeVeet but give me an eggnog at Christmas time and I'll pull the tree over and puke on the lights. Fuhgeddaboudit! Great time for me Christmas, you get all the weirdos round that time. Once had this jerk off tell me he was Santa Claus and wanted me to take him to the North Pole. I told him, pal, unless your Dickie fucking Attenborough take a fucking hike you looney toon! Everyone knows there ain't such a place as the North Pole. Honestly, the shit I have to put up with. Fuhgeddaboudit!
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