Harry Benson In The Great Sex Mouth Scandal

Cockadoodle-doo. I see you. Nah, just playing around, I can't really see you... Unless I'm using my telescope to spy on you while you're having sex with your partner. My favorite people to watch having sex is gays. They are so... Well, gay for a better word. Man kisses are stupid and quite vulgar. Talking of sex. Me wife Betty and I had sex the other night. It's been a couple of weeks since we'd last done it. And by weeks I mean years. Anyway, old Betty gets all randy and starts feeling me leg and the such. One thing leads to another and we decide to have a bit of nookie. Problem came when I didn't if you get me drift. See, me daughter Rosie asked us if we could look after her pet dog Mamby. Nice little creature, a Chihuahua I believe they call 'em. Little blighter keeps jumping onto the bed and licking me hand when we're trying to make love. Very off putting I can tell you.

Anyway, Betts always makes me wear a condom during "ow's your father?" because I refused to have the snip. I won't do it. I'm not too old, I could still have a few more sprogs still. So I'm banging away at Betty's vagina and Mamby decides to sit by the bed watching us, the dirty little pervert. I finish off and snub the old rubber off into the bedroom bin, fart and turn over to go to sleep. I don't remember having any dreams that night but if I had, it would have been of pushing my wife down the stairs. I've been having that dream for years. It's one of them reoccuring dreams. I missed having that dream. I like it. I like it alot.

So next morning I get up and see Mamby sitting there with the condom in her mouth. Sex ozzing out of the condom, over her lips and everything. Total farkin' sex mouth she had. She could taste Betty and myself. It was a very arkward situation. Later that day Rosie came to pick Mamby up. I didn't tell her about the sex mouth incident.