Ah, finally I have enough time to start writing the winner follow-up book to my overwhelming success of a book; Flying Solo. I liked it anyway. Now where to start, where to start. Oh, I know...
"You may fire when ready." That's what old Peter Sellers said to m-
Ah, no, no, no, it wasn't bloody Peter Sellers was it? Strike that. Let's start again.
"You may fire when ready". That's what old Peter Cushing said to me as he watched me pissing against a tree outside Elstree Studios. Cunning pirate that Cushing fellow. Handsome too.
But does that sound forced?
I was only picked by George Lucas to play Boba Fett because I fit the suit.
That doesn't say much of me as an actor though does it? Hmm...
George Lucas, the old swine-
Actually, he was quite young then.
George Lucas, the young swine liked my style. Yes, he wanted me for the role of Boba Fett. He wined and dined me for the part. He told me he'd kill himself, yes, kill himself if I didn't take the role of the bounty cunter.
Oh shit! I made a fucking type-o. I never do that. Never. Oh well, I don't suppose anyone will notice.
George was going to kill himself, can you imagine anything so ridiculous?
Hmm, I quite fancy a cider right about now.
I remember my early years as a much younger man with contempt. My mummy made me dust the dolls house while Super Gran was on telly. I loved Super Gran...
I never did get to see that episode.
I made Empire and Jedi, myself of course, being the true star of the films. The fans know I'm the real star of the Star Wars movies. George took my voice out of the new DVDs and replaced it with the voice of that black bastard; Tamrin wossname, the bloke who played Jando or Jango, Boba's supposed father. I hate George Lucas. But most of all, I love the money I've made from autograph signings. So my life hasn't been a complete waste of time.
Yes. I like that. Now all I have to do is think of a snappy title for this masterpiece...
BOBA FETT: THE BOOK
BY
JEREMY BULLOCH
"You may fire when ready." That's what old Peter Sellers said to m-
Ah, no, no, no, it wasn't bloody Peter Sellers was it? Strike that. Let's start again.
"You may fire when ready". That's what old Peter Cushing said to me as he watched me pissing against a tree outside Elstree Studios. Cunning pirate that Cushing fellow. Handsome too.
But does that sound forced?
I was only picked by George Lucas to play Boba Fett because I fit the suit.
That doesn't say much of me as an actor though does it? Hmm...
George Lucas, the old swine-
Actually, he was quite young then.
George Lucas, the young swine liked my style. Yes, he wanted me for the role of Boba Fett. He wined and dined me for the part. He told me he'd kill himself, yes, kill himself if I didn't take the role of the bounty cunter.
Oh shit! I made a fucking type-o. I never do that. Never. Oh well, I don't suppose anyone will notice.
George was going to kill himself, can you imagine anything so ridiculous?
Hmm, I quite fancy a cider right about now.
I remember my early years as a much younger man with contempt. My mummy made me dust the dolls house while Super Gran was on telly. I loved Super Gran...
I never did get to see that episode.
I made Empire and Jedi, myself of course, being the true star of the films. The fans know I'm the real star of the Star Wars movies. George took my voice out of the new DVDs and replaced it with the voice of that black bastard; Tamrin wossname, the bloke who played Jando or Jango, Boba's supposed father. I hate George Lucas. But most of all, I love the money I've made from autograph signings. So my life hasn't been a complete waste of time.
Yes. I like that. Now all I have to do is think of a snappy title for this masterpiece...
BOBA FETT: THE BOOK
BY
JEREMY BULLOCH
Posts
2 comments:
'oh a typo, nobody will notice' - brilliant!
Have you ever visited Bulloch's website? (http://jeremybulloch.com/) It's sad in the way it seems his life is simply a conveyor belt of conventions and likewise personal appearances, but funny at the same time as his blog (always closely following his appearances) is so boring!
Also, I think you'll find that Tamsin Outhwaite played Janglyo Fett.
Post of the month goes to you, Sir.
Why thank you Sir. I've been brewing up that post in my head for a while now.
Yes, poor Jeremy's site is a state isn't it? But money for conventions, he likes money. :-)
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