Look at my tiny face.
Look at this well-tendered facial rot, my reasonably girthy frame, these magnificent glasses and this tremendous comb-over.
The Mayor of Garboldisham truly ain't nothin' to mess with.
While I will continue to work with my nemesis, the Mayor of Lidlingham, I will diligently toil on my own accord to ruin him. Are the waterways and canals of Lidlingham polluted by their local power plant? Nope! Garboldisham's are. That's why I have a personal army of winged fish, motherfucker. One day you will wake up to find somebody has broken into your home and inked a spurting phallus on your forehead, Mayor of Lidlingham. This will mark the beginning of my tyranny.
Tuesday 29 July 2008
The Mayor Of Garboldisham.
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2 comments:
Mayor of Garboldisham, if that is your real name, this is me, the Mayor of Lidlingham and I take these threats of tyranny very seriously. I can only hope the Chinese hookers I have put onto your streets bring you down in the "nicest places to live" poll on Location, Location, Location. God, I'd love to pop me collar in Kirsty Allsop... If I wasn't gay that is.
HA!
Your plan of scumming Garboldisham high street is thwarted!
We've employed those hookers as waiters in the town's only Chinese restaurant. Not only that, but we've scored extra points with the 'nicest places to live' committee for rehabilitating those ladies into decent society!
So, HA! Stick that in your pipe and smoketh it!
Of course, it is a shame that during that time of expert thwarting, many of East Garboldisham's residents have been fatally poisoned by an unexplained gas cloud.
Win some, lose some.
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