Tech Help.

Hello, 'Tech Help'. Allen speaking, how can I help?

Yeah, hi. I'm making a greetings card to send to my friends over the email. How do I make the red colours I've used in my design to be redder? Like, can you show me how?

Ok. You can adjust the contrast and brightness of your screen by using the dials on the monitor unit. If you're still not happy, you can choose a different red in the palette or 'colour picker' of the software you're using.

No, that's way too complicated. I need you to show me here on screen ... or like, do it for me.

I'm not really able to show you on screen, as we're not in the same room ... and we're a telephone advice line, we don't make home visits.

Well that's bullshit! I'm paying for this service. Sort my problem right here, right now.

I've already offered two viable solutions to your problem, and I've explained that we aren't able to make home visits.

Pfft!* You know what?! Fuck your service! You know what else? I'm going to sort this shit out myself, and when I'm finished I'm going to make a one-off greetings card and email it especially to you ... but ... it's going to be completely bad-ass and fucked-up, and the message is going to be mephitic and written entirely in upper case letters. I think you'll find this will have you bounding off your oh-so high and mighty horse, Mister Useless!