And now we take you, the reluctant viewer into the dark and frightening world that they call "MARRIAGE".
Cyril and Cybil Conklin have been married Five years. Some of them good. Now things are about to take a turn for the worst. We join them during a shopping trip to Sainsbury's.
Cyril: I like Sprite Zero.
Cybil: Sprite Zero tastes horrible. What's wrong with regular Sprite?
Cyril: It has too many calories.
Cybil: Not that many.
Cyril: Look, I'm fat enough as it is okay? I wanna drink a soda and I don't want the calories.
Cybil: Okay, okay, we'll get Sprite Zero. Happy now?
Cyril: Not really. My fingers still hurt.
Cybil: That's because you're a silly bugger.
Cyril: I didn't ask to get them jammed in the bloody car door did I?
Cybil: What is B.R?
Cyril: What?
Cybil: On the shopping list. It just says "B.R".
Cyril: Oh, that. That's short for bog roll.
Cybil: Charming.
Cyril: For God's sake Cybil, would you stop being such a snob.
Cybil: There you go again, calling me a snob. I think Father was right about you. You're not good enough for me.
Cyril: Oh, here we go again. The old "You're not good enough" routine again.
Cybil: It's true. Father said tha-
Cyril: Father said this, Father said that. I'm sick of hearing about that old bastard.
Cybil: How dare you call my Father a bastard.
Cyril: Oh look, it's "feed your family for a fiver". I wonder if that Jamie Oliver thing really works. Could save us a bob or too.
Cybil: I don't care about bloody Jamie Oliver. You just insulted my Father!
Cyril: I wish he was dead.
Cybil: WHAT???
Cyril: No, I take it back. I wish I was dead.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Wednesday 10 September 2008
Cyril Vs. Cybil
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4 comments:
Now, now Cyril, Cybil.
The key to any good marriage ... and I've had plenty of good marriages ... is to find a common ground. Instead of arguing over Sprite, choose something different - Dr. Pepper, for example.
Using this perspective and way of thinking will ultimately reward you both with happiness.
Oh, and remember to end each day with some lovely old anal sex. Once in the saint, twice in the taint.
I'm John Springer. Take care of yourselves, and each other.
hm. I could be a marriage counselor!
"...don't you see your petty differences are merely peripheral? Talk with each other, then go home and have some good old anal sex. Once in the pink, twice in the sink."
Don't get married ever John. Seriously, Naomi is a lovely girl, it's a shame to spoil her with marriage. lol
You need to have more anal sex.
...or less anal sex.
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