Noah's Been In The Business Enough Time To Know.

What the hell am I paying you idiots for?! I want a tv commercial which will speak to all the neighbourhood kids - and draw them to my arcades. It's not that fucking difficult.

Look, this is what I have in mind; I want a naked, pregnant chick to fly through a school and into a classroom. This chick pulls a bow and arrow out of her shitter and fires the arrow through the neck of one of the kids. The kid goes beserk and runs riot around the school cannibalising other kids - causing an unholy bloodbath. We fade away to a lone boy playing one of my machines at one of my arcades ... a good-looking kid, no fat kids or any of those grubby 'ethnic' fuckers ... playing away with a huge smile on his face. R. Kelly's 'I Believe I Can Fly' chirps over, and a title card says something like; "Only the smartest kids are ditching school today to visit Noah's Arcade".

Get R. Kelly on the phone, pronto.