Thursday, 29 October 2009
Cheryl Meets Her Maker
Why aye man.
WHY AYE?
Who are you mate?
I AM GOD.
Oh God no, am I dead like?
NO.
Then why am I here then?
BECAUSE I WILLED IT TO BE.
I need to get back to me X-Factor boys and-
X-FACTOR MEANS NOTHING. YOU WILL STAY WHERE YOU ARE COLE.
Reet, reet man. I'll stay just here for the minute like.
YOU ARE A FAKE CHERYL COLE.
What?
YOU ARE THE DARLING OF SATURDAY NIGHT TELEVISION BUT YOU ARE FAKE.
What'd you mean God?
I MEAN YOU ARE NOT JUST A HYPOCRITE AND A MATERIALISTIC WAG. YOU ARE A COPYCAT.
No, no God, that was like a big misundertanding.
NO COLE IT WASN'T. I WAS THERE WHEN YOU SET ABOUT WRITING THE SONG: FIGHT FOR THIS LOVE. I AM EVERYWHERE.
Well it's not as it seems.
YES IT IS.
I had no idea it sounded just like the Kelis song.
YES YOU DID.
I'd never even heard that Lil Star song.
YES YOU HAD.
Okay, so what if I had? So what if I ripped it off? No one likes Kelis anyway.
I LIKE KELIS. I LOVE KELIS. AS I LOVE ALL MY CHILDREN.
Even me?
NO, NOT YOU.
Fair dues. Can I go now?
YES. FOR NOW... AND TELL SIMON COWELL I'LL BE SEEING HIM REAL SOON.
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1 comment:
I don't understand the obsession with Cheryl Cole. She's nothing special to look at. She can't sing. People also tend to forget that she was arrested for beating up a black woman in McDonald's a few years back.
Classy bird.
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