Cat Scratch Fever

Man innocently walking down the street singing to himself a Biffy Clyro tune.

#Angels fall to the floor, like they would if I was captain, Silver children she roared, I'm not the# SONOFABITCH! Ow! Something just scratched my fucking head!

It was me.

Hey you! Was it you cat?

Yes, I just said it was me. You got a hearing problem?

No. But why the hell did you just scratch my head like that?

Because one, it's funny and Two, because I don't like you, you long haired geek. You're too fucking... Blond!

Hey, that's a Fight Club quote. You've seen Fight Club?

Well I can talk so is it really that unbelievable that I've seen that film?

I suppose not.

The guy that owns me loves that movie.

Hmm, you know when I woke up this morning, last thing I could have possibly imagined would be this. Me standing here talking to you, a cat.

Yeah, life's funny like that ain't it?

Yeah, I guess it is.

That was a rehetorical question you dolt! I guess blonds really are as dumb as they say.

Hey!

Get you hair cut you fucking hippy or I'll scratch you again! Oh and have a shave too. You scuffy bastard.