Heath Ledger Found Alive And Well... In Heaven

Ladies and Gentlemen, hold on to your hats and Naomi Watts wipe away your tears because Heath Ledger is here! That's right! Heath Ledger is back from the dead and now living in sunny Heaven. This is the exclusive first interview with the Hollywood star since his death.

Yes, I agree, I do look younger. That's what living in Heaven will do for a man. You want me to talk about the day I died do you? Well it was all rather sudden. I took a load of pills because I was a bit unhappy, felt a ringing in my ears and I was dying, Naomi was crying and the world was prying into my life, or lack of it should I say. And I so wanted to finish that Terry Gilliam film, whatever it was called. Wasn't it The Adventurnium of Professor something. Anyway, I wanted to finish it but I got a better offer from Jesus to come join him and his father the lord God almighty in his kingdom and I'm afraid it was an offer I couldn't refuse. It was odd when I first died. I heard bells in the distance and then Jesus Christ stood before me surrounded by a magnificent light and I asked him; "Are you The Joker?" and he replied; "No. You are.". That was the greatest thing to never happen to me in my life. Jesus even forgave me for portraying a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain, which was nice of him. It was only after a couple of months being dead and the subsequent release of The Dark Knight that I realised I must come back to earth and get my Oscar that I'm due to recieve next year. Yes, I guess you could say I have lived a charmed life... And death.