From Sea To Shining Sea

Hoy hoy paloy! What do I spy with my little eye in the sky? Ooo, a woman cooking something in an oven. Perhaps she's cooking crack cocaine. Perhaps she's cooking beef stroganoff. Perhaps I could go over there and pull up her dress and fu-

(Oh Richard!)

Yes dear. I'm be there in a moment.

(What are you doing up there...?)

Just putting my chess set straight. You know how I hate a mess chess set.

(Come down here.)

In just a second. Ooo... What's this? A youth eh? And he's wearing a hoodie. Probably just come back from mugging someone so he can buy video games and bottles of cider. Frosty Jacks I'm betting.

(Richard!!!)

Yes!!! For Christ's sake yes! I'm coming, you bleeding reefer addict. My mistress always ruins my telescopic fun. God, I miss sex offending.