PRISM

You asked to see me Sir.

Yes, Woodkins isn't it?

Woodrow Sir.

Anyway, you know why I asked to see you.

Ah, actually Sir, I don't.

How long have you worked at this prison?

I don't know. About 18 months or so. Why?

Well Sonny boy, you're about to be out of a job.

But why? Have I not done my job correctly and to the prison's standard?

No, no, no, it's nothing like that. It's because I'm freeing all the inmates you see.

WHAT? But you can't Sir!

I'm sorry, but I must free all prisoners.

But Warden Butler, this prison houses some of the worst murderers and rapists.



Must free all prisoners.

But Warden Butler, there is a school only half a mile from here and there are a lot of unrepentant paedophiles at this prison. It doesn't bare thinking about what they might do to the children if they were to be freed.

I'm sorry but my decision is final. I must free all prisoners.

Even Slash Curtis? Do you know what terrible things he has done to children?

Especially Slash Curtis. They all deserve a second chance, even the kiddie fiddlers and they can get that on the outside by becoming baristas at Costas Coffee or Starbucks even.

No Warden they can't!

Do you know who I am?

Yes, I do. You are Scottish actor Gerard Butler and you have been masquerading as this prison's Warden for the last week and everyone in this prison has been going long with it but I'm afraid I, nor any other employee here can grant this request of yours. And to be honest, I think it's time you stepped down and went back to what you do best; being famous and attending Hollywood premieres.

Oh, you do, do you? Well this isn't just anywhere in the world where you can voice your little gay opinions boy. Oh no, THIS IS SPARTA!!!

No it isn't. It's Sussex, England. But I get your point.