Caravan Tales

A holly jolly day like this makes me proud. The sun's out, the sky is blue and the road is sprawling out in front of me. Yep, that's my idea of Heaven. The open road and my caravan. Some peoples hate the caravaner. Not me. I am a caravaner and there are a lot of my kind in Britain. Nay, the vorld! Sorry, I just spoke that last word as if I were a German man and I assure you I am not! I'm your average English bloke who enjoys his footie, like his lad mags and goes to Spain every year to burn in the sun. I love my caravan most of all and I think it loves me. I don't know. I've never asked it and to be honest, if I did, it would seem rather odd if I did. But the truth is I'm frightened that if I did ask if it loves me it may answer "no". And I can't take that kind of rejection.

My wife thinks the caravan is proper good too. My wife had been with Five men, sexually I mean, before she met me and we married Eight years ago. We took a little excursion the other month to Cromer. On the way there, there was this bastard of a driver in his bloody Land Rover up our ass, beeping his horn and trying to overtake us for miles. I really hate those kind of people. Why can't they accept caravans on the road. Yes they are slow, but what's wrong with slow? Anyway back to Cromer. Nice there. We both really loved it there. It reminded us of Great Yarmouth. Me and the Mrs are big fans of Yarmouth, big fans. We love it! Is there anywhere better than Great Yarmouth? I don't think so but Cromer comes a close second. We are hoping to visit Hemsby later this summer. I've heard it's lovely here. Sometimes I think I'm wasting my life and then my wife reminds me to take my meds and I'm fine... With absolutely everything.