Kickin' It In The Bog Episode VII: Cack To The Future

Gandolini's soul! What a whopper that was. Felt like a pound coin up my arse or maybe a hard pebble. Gave me a hell of a sting of rejection as it passed by my hole ring and plopped into the toilet bowl. But it's gone. It's for the sewage people to deal with now. It's good to be back at the Toilet Commission. I've been away from the commission for a couple of months. I had some plastic surgery. Oh no, not on my face or tummy tuck or whatnot. No, not me. I had some done on my colon. It was looking a little old and saggy, so I thought I'd just have a little nip and tuck, here and there, you know, to make it more presentable. And I have to say, I'm very pleased with the results. Now come on, be honest, don't I look better for it?

Things haven't been right, here at Toilet Commission HQ lately. It appears the govenment has decided to appoint a new director of T.C. He's a young chap by the name Peter Gobbles. He's only been director for five minutes and the boys down here have already got a nickname for him. Don't laugh but they call him Peter Shit Eater. On account of his last name being Gobbles. I like the nickname. It suits him because he does talk a lot of shit. Little upstart called me into his office yesterday and said to me "We, at the Toilet Commission, appreciate all you have done for us over the years Wilbert but isn't it time you retired?" Well, as you can imagine, I was furious. I've worked for the Toilet Commission or T.C as they are calling it these days for Forty years. And believe me, I've seen some shit in that time. But I've never seen a bigger piece of shit than Peter Gobbles. I told him; "With all due respect Sir, forget you!" And I stormed out of his office like a streak of piss. Jumped up little shit.