Working For Mickey D

Heeeeeeeeello McDonalds. How may I help you?

Is this Ronald McDonald?

Yes it is.

Ah, yeah, I'd like to make a complaint.

Yessir, what can I do for ya?

Yeah, me and my children were at one of your restaurants in Kansas City and we all had a strawberry milkshake-

No burgers or fries?

No, just milkshakes.

No Chicken McNuggets?

No, listen, were vegans we don't eat meat at all.

Oh shit, really?

Yeah, really.

So what are you doing drinking milkshakes. I thought you weirdos didn't drink milk and shit. Cows are for calfs and all that garbage.

We were hungry okay?!

So you got a milkshake?

Yeah, we got fucking milkshakes. This is all besides the point. The point is, we all had a milkshake and we all became violently ill afterwards.

God really? What a coincidence.

It wasn't no coincidence. We saw one of your employees over by the Mcflurries putting something from a little bottle into the milkshakes.

So why'd you drink them?

Well I thought it was flavouring or something. But I was tested after my bout of illness and it came back that I'd been poisoned!

Damn, that is bad luck. But I'm quite reliably informed that we use arsenic in our strawberry flavouring.

What kind of monster are you?!!! It nearly killed me and my kids!!!

Listen here you! I'm the sire of God's red fire son so don't you be fucking with me or my franchise or you'll find more than poison in your Goddamn milkshakes!!! You got me?!!!

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Hello? You still there?

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Ah, another satisfied customer.