Ye Olde Days V

BEHOLD MY KING!!! I have returned to you from the neitherrealm. And lo, I have brought to you, my king and people of the mortal world the great book of generic magic. For it was when I was trapped in the dark tombs of darkness by the beast of darkness that I, Sir Carmine Ric'hard did find this book. And it was magic that henceforth brought me back to being. Not any magic. Not kingly magic, nor devil magic. But the great magic. Mr. Magica's magic!!!

Mr Who now's magic?

My king, he is a great sorcerer, fit for legend. But my tale also comes with a warning. Oh a terrible warning!!! And thus, there will be 'tisms. BAP-tisms!!! Of fire... And FLAME!!!

Hold on here one second Sir Carmine. I'm no scholar but isn't fire and flame the same sort of thing?

Oh my dear king. If only, if only.

Sounds like a lot of rubbish to me. Are you sure you didn't bump your head or something.

SILENCE!!! For if you speak ill of the great Mr. Magica. He will indeed overthrow you and your kingdom.

Oh really. Well where is he? I'll give him a fight so I will.

King, please.... PLEASE!!!

This boy is insane!!!

Wait Sire!

See? See, even your priests believe.

Wait a moment, this book isn't even made of real paper. It's just some leaves held together with dried faeces. And it doesn't say anything on it except some crude writing which reads; "Make a prat of the king."

WHAT?

My king, your priest is wrong. It actually says; "The king is a cunt."

WHAT?

I thought it was pretty funny myself.

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

What? No sense of humour?