Tuesday 24 March 2009

Dino Crisis!!!



Yes, I agree, the dino problem is... A problem. We must gather our forces against the coming days of darkness and the eventual takeover of the dinosaurs. But I thin-



What was that darling? I'm in the middle of a conversation with-

No you're not Zach. Put down the phone and stop talking to yourself.

Dammit woman, how many times I got to tell you not to mention that in public. When I speak into the phone, I AM TALKING to somebody on it. Get it?

Zach, you worry me, you really do.

Look, I'm taking those God awful pills the doctor gave me. What more do you want? Now let me get back to my job damn it! I'm trying to save the world from those foul beasts from the depths known only as Dinosaurs.

Zach, please. You've got to stop this obsession with the dinosaurs. They aren't coming back to life. They died millions of years ago, you have nothing to worry about darling.

THEY ARE COMING BACK!!! THEY ARE!!! THEY ARE!!! THEY ARE!!!

Please Zach. You're making a scene. Listen, calm down and why don't you have a chat with your pal Simon tonight. He may be able to reassure you.

But Simon is a bastard.

I know he is. He's also a cunt but that's not the issue here. How about calling him tonight?

He never picks up his cell phone an-

How about an online chat?

Yes! Good plan.




LATER THAT NIGHT.

Dinohunter_Zach262: Hey buddy, how's it going?

Sybastard: Fine, fine. Just been blackmailing a girl I know :) If she doesn't pay me 15,000 bucks I'm going to tell her husband we've been banging each other.

Dinohunter_Zach262: Why?

Sybastard: Cuz I'm a right bastard and I love money. Hehe!

Dinohunter_Zach262: Jane asked me to talk to you because she says I'm obsessing over dinosaurs again.

Sybastard: Shit! Again with the fucking dinos. Stop watching Jurassic Park and fucking pull yourself together man!

Dinohunter_Zach262: Oh!

Sybastard has left the chat.

Dinohunter_Zach262: Simon? Hello? Simon you still there? Dammit Simon! You are such a bastard!

2 comments:

Kerja_Relon said...

This is a fucking Surgery first! Simon The Bastard features in a completely unrelated one off post. I know, I'm amazing.

John said...

Christ.