The Story Of Barnold

Welcome everyone to this special presentation of Digital Practice. Mike name, sorry, I meant to say my name, Anyway, welcome, yes welcome to another episode of Digital Practice with me, your host: Doctor Kroctor. My name is Doctor Kroctor. Yes it is. And with me tonight is a lovely lady, Jolene wasn't it?

It's Joanne, Doctor.

And with me is Joanne Doctor and her son-

No Doctor. My name is Joanne Broon. Not Joanne Doctor.

And with me is Joanne Broon. Now being a doctor yourself, you must have noticed something was wrong with-

I'm not a doctor.

You're not?

No. You're the doctor.

Well, make up your mind woman. I know I'm a doctor.

Sorry.

With me is Jo Broon and her son Barnold. Now Jo, you must have notic-

Ah, sorry to interrupt you again. But my son's name is Arnold.

And?

You, ah, you called him Barnold.

What? Silly woman. Can we please continue?

Sorry.

With me is Mum of Two; Jolene Brooke and her son, Barnold. Now Jo, you've got Three children so when Barnold came along, you must have noticed there was something different about him. Yes?

I don't have any other children. I only have Arnold.

...... And whether or not you have any children whatsoever, you must have seen Barnold was different.

In what way?

In any way. Any way at all.

Arnold isn't a good swimmer.

YES! Yes, exactly!

Yes, what exactly? I don't understand.

That's right! Because you can't! Because Barnold is different and that's why you've come on the show today. It's okay, I'm a doctor.

I know Doctor Kroctor.

Oh you do eh? And how long have you known this Doctor Kroctor character?

Ah, he's, I mean, you've been our GP for the last Seven years.

Yes, and don't you forget it neither. Of course I know of what you're speaking being Doctor Kroctor myself and being a doctor and everything. But that's besides the point. After studying Barnold for many, many weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds and nanoseconds what do you make of it all?

......................

Well?

Oh sorry, were you aiming that question at me?

Yes, of course I was, Barnold's Mum.

But I'm here for you to give me your opinion.

Yes you are! Haha! Yes you are. Do you think he may be a threat to others? Guns? Knives? Weapons of mass destruction? That kind of thing?

Are you saying my son is or could be a terrorist.

Could be. No, no, of course not. That's for the authorities to decide.

I brought Barnol- I mean Arnold here today because he looks a little peaky. You don't think he's running a fever do you?

I think we're about out of time. Thank you for joining us, myself Doctor Kroctor and this lady, plus child type creature and I hope you'll join us next time on Digital Practice. And remember, oh fiddlesticks! I forgot the fucking catch phrase. Yes, remember, brush your teeth and whatnot. See you soonly!!! Goodbye!!!