Simon The Bastard

Ho, ho, ho!!! No, I'm not Santa Claus. I'm ho, ho, ho-ing because I just had sex with Three skanky ass hos. Pretty good sex too. Shame about their faces. But that's what eyelids were invented for right? If you haven't guessed it already, I'm a cunt. I'm the sort of guy that writes filthy emails to my work colleagues. Female work colleagues mind you, I ain't no gay. I write threatening emails to the queer guys in the office too just to tease them. Hey, I'm just playing. They don't see it that way the uptight fags. I'm going on a vacation to Malta in a few weeks, can't wait. I'm going to romance some women while there. You know, the usual fuck them senseless, pretend I'm in love with them and want to marry them, then fuck right off 'cause I'm just that kinda guy.