The Un-Understanding Man

Calvin, I need to talk to you.

Sure thing sweetheart. What is it?

I got a phone call this morning.

Oh how nice. I get them too from time to time.

The call was from your boss.

Yeah? And...?

And he informed me you haven't shown up at the office for the past month.

I know, I didn't wanna go to work anymore.

What do you mean; "Didn't want to go to work anymore"?

Well, it's not like you have to go all the time is it? I thought it'd be cool to, you know, like, stay at home and pet the dog or watch a football game on TV. That kinda stuff. What's this all about anyway? Is my boss upset with me or something?

Oh that's to say the least. In fact, he's so upset he called to let you know you're fired.

Shiiiiiiit. No way. Really?

Really.

But why'd he fire me like that? I was his best employee.

You obviously weren't Calvin or he wouldn't have fired you. That's what happens when you don't bother to show up for work. You get fired.

Yeah, so? No need to fire my ass.

God Calvin, how many times do I have to explain this to you? This is what, the fourth job you've had this year and it's only February. Christ Almighty! It's like trying to communicate with a gorilla!!!

Damn. Guess I fucked up didn't I?

Ya think?