Gordon Bennett! Was that a stinker! I almost committed suicide with that bowel movement. You know, Christmas is always a busy time at the Toilet Commission. You see with all that over eating comes over shitting. God, the toilets broken over Christmas is nobody's business except mine and my baby's woo!!! Shamone. Michael Jackson that was. You know there's a legend around the commission that speaks of that fact Michael Jackson never goes to the toilet at all. It's rumoured that's why he called his property in California Neverland. Looking at his face, I wouldn't disbelieve it. I wonder what he'll be doing this Christmas... Actually, I'd rather not. You may not believe this but even Santa Claus has a good shit now and then. Well, with all those mince pies he has to eat on Christmas Eve can you blame him. I heard heshoots a big brown one out that night. Made Mrs. Claus' eyes water. Dirty sod. Good job he has the elves to clean it up. I will be in Garboldisham this year for Christmas. The mayor has invited me and a couple of the other lads from the Toilet Commission. We have a good relationship with the wookiees of Garboldisham. It goes back to the great Christmas flood of 1988 when all the toilets there overflowed and a flood of shit engulfed the town. It was like a white Christmas except more brown. A lot more brown in fact. Oh and it stank. It stank bad. It took Three Thousand burly men with soap and scrub brushes to make the town liveable again. Santa definitely didn't come to town that year, I can tell you. Let's hope he shows up this year or he'll be in the shit this time and no mistake. 
Wednesday 3 December 2008
Kickin’ It In The Bog Episode VI: It's A Wonderful Shite
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3 comments:
Yeah, I'd imagine Santa would need to drop one at least once during the Christmas delivery night. You'd think the reindeer would be showering the streets and rooftops with smudges all night.
Watching 'I'm A Celebrity' and hearing George Takei admitting to snuffing one out in the communal dunny was quite warming. It's common knowledge what goes into Takei's passage, but you rarely ever hear about what comes out.
Are you having problems with automatic image re-sizing when writing posts in blogger, too?
It's giving me the 'ump, guv'. No idea how to change it, either. My trick is to copy the html of a correctly sized image from an old post, paste the code into a new post and change the image links. Reet old lewd of bother.
Wilburt's fucking beard, man.
What a bad-ass.
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