Staples.

Ooh Linda, I'm sorry to interrupt, but may I use your stapler?

No.

I have a report to post, I'll only need to use it for a moment.

No.

Fine. You know what? Fuck you. You know what else? I barely even wrote that report! I was in the employee toilet, fucking the sleeve of your jacket the entire time I was supposed to be writing that report! In fact, I did such a lousy job, I've printed your name on the cover sheet to save me from getting into any kind of trouble. Bitch.