Sand Gods.

King Kolo, we've returned from our great voyage.

Splendid. With what things have you returned?

Well, we've discovered that you don't need to travel the perilous chasm of the Sand Gods to go bowling. You can get this thing called a 'widget' on this other thing called 'Facebook'. You can bowl all you like against your friends. Brother Hyem here got an '8 Bagger' on his second go! There was some tragedy, however. You see, we also learned that brussels sprouts pretty much smell the same going out, as they do going in. We lost half of our expediton finding that little doozy out.

This is all nonsense! What have you learned of the mysteries of our world?

Oh, uh. Yeah, uh. We learned that everyting is pretty much created and governed by the mighty Sand Gods. Yes, the Sand Gods are in charge of everything. You should, like, tread carefully at the beach and shit.